How to get a relationship to hold

Roast

Obvious Hints From Girls That Guys Hilariously Failed To Notice

#1

In high school I walked into a classroom and a very attractive girl that was an acquaintance at most came up to me and said ”djw, did you know that Rodrigo and I broke up?”
I said, ”oh, sorry to hear that,” and went on my way.
Then I spent the rest of the day and night thinking about that. Why the hell would SHE tell me that? Why they hell would she tell ME that? Why was she smiling when she told me that?
The next time I saw her, I asked her what she was doing that weekend and she said, ”nothing, do you want to go to a movie?” And that was the moment that I realized what was happening. And I wound up getting a date out of it.
And eventually, a family.

#2

I was living with my then-boyfriend a few years ago. Feeling a little flirtatious, I suggested we could take a shower together, you know, to save water, wink wink.
His response? ”Why? We don’t pay for water.”
Shut. Down.

#3

Girl kisses me in the dark in her bedroom at her birthday party. ”You should leave before we do something stupid,” she whispers. I nod and leave.

#4

Can I say one I was oblivious to?
I was out of town, chatting to a girl at a bar. We figured out I was 13 inches taller than her. She said, ”That’s funny, I’m going on a date with a guy who is 13 inches taller than me tomorrow. And I’ll probably f*ck him after.”
My response? ”Well, that’s a weird coincidence!”
I didn’t figure it out until I was on a plane home.

#5

Early interaction with my boyfriend-
Me: ”That suit looks great on you. It would look better on the floor.”
Him: ”That would wrinkle the suit.”

#6

”Hey, there’s room in my tent if you want to join me”
”Thanks, but I brought my own tent!”
And that’s the story of why my friends think I’m socially retarded

#7

Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2am, in the dark
Her: applying strawberry lip gloss.
Me: why are you putting on lip gloss?
Her: strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice.
Me: haha youre weird
Her: want to taste?
Me: nah I already know what it tastes like
Commence several years of late night self loathing and regret

#8

Via text
Girl: Are you going to that party?
Me: Yeah for a little bit. Probably gonna be boring.
Girl: Yeah…was thinking of just staying in.
Me: Probably a good plan.
Girl: So yeah…I’ll just be here tonight. Roommates are gone.
Me: Sounds nice; my roommates never leave.
Girl: Ok. So. I’ll be here all alone in my apartment. If the party sucks.
Me: Very good.

#9

One time I was texting my bf and told him that I bought a vibrator for the nights he was away at work or something rather. his exact response was, ”oh cool, what colour?” I sent him a pic of it and he replied with ”can you put it up your butt too?”. I sent him a text replying, ”come over and find out” and he replied two minutes later, ”nevermind, I just Googled it”

#10

A few years ago I was working at my elementary school’s annual spring fling. That day I volunteered to be the school mascot(a big-ass bear costume) for the morning shift. It was a boring job of feeling like a pedophile the whole time because little kids would hug you constantly and be all over you. They were at just the perfect height for every kid’s face to be just in your crotch. It was nearing noon and my shift was soon to be over when a girl my age, 17, stole the bear head right from my own head and ran away with it. I wasn’t gonna pay for a damn bear head if she didn’t return it, so I ran after her and followed her into an empty classroom with the lights off and the shudders shut tightly. She said something like ”oh looky here, mr papa bear, I’m holding your head, I’m a bad girl” I was pissed she took it and wasn’t thinking so I, being oblivious to her remark, took the head yelled ”THE CHILDREN NEED ME” and stormed out.

#11

I was staying the night at a female friend’s house. I had a huge crush on her and it was the first night sleeping in the same bed.
Her: Just so you know, jeans aren’t allowed in my bed. You have to take them off.
Me: Hahaha that’s a dumb rule keeps them on
That one still stings

#12

Oh my god my friend fits this sign completely.
He was working on his doctorate in some science, I think physics and he was very busy, I had only seen him once in the past few weeks and he was always with this girl who was really cool.
They would hang out a lot while he would do research and she would do work for her masters’ thesis, would text each other every day and also they would once a week go out to burger king (poor college students and have stuff from the dollar menu). It was pretty clear that they dug each other as they seemed to be very similar and were both very interesting.
They had met when he was finishing up his doctoral work and so I asked him what he planned to do. Well he said that he planned on asking her out.
Now this confused me, as I had thought they had been dating for roughly the last six months, so I ask him if they’ve ever hooked up. And he’s like yeah every time she comes over and they sleep in the same bed roughly 5 nights out of the week. Do you go out with her? He took her to burger king. Do you really enjoy talking to her? Yeah I’m glad we talk all the time and stuff. And I say ”Dude this sounds suspiciously close to a relationship”.
And he goes ”Oh that explains this then”. She had sent him a text saying ”happy 6 months baby!! :D”. Even after this he still wasn’t sure. So yes my friend is retarded. They are still together to this day.

#13

A girl once asked to use my shower, and left the door wide open as an invitation. So I thought I’d be a funny guy and throw ice cubes at her.
NO REGRET.

#14

Me: I think you’re really cute and I like you. A lot.
Him:…. uh, thanks.
Accepting this unrequited crush, I decided I was happy being friends with him.
3 months down the line he spent hours comforting me after a disastrous night and then finally confessed he had feelings for me, going back 6 months. When I asked why he didn’t say anything when I told him my feelings ”but I wasn’t sure you liked me”
That was 4 years ago, he’s still as cute and dense now, and is fast asleep next to me.

#15

Girl: Mind if we go somewhere a little more quiet to talk?
Me: Its not that noisy in here, just tell me here.
I’m a certified dumbass.

#16

She told me she likes tall, muscular, hairy guys.
A few days later she asked me why guys don’t pick up on hints.
I’m a tall, muscular, hairy guy.
We’re dating now.

#17

I’m a guy, and a friend weaseled her way over to watch a movie at my place with me. I didn’t think too much of it.
We were happily watching a movie, then another. Me on my side of the couch, her on her side.
After the second movie, she just looked over at me and said out loud, ”oh f*ck it”
At that point, she literally just jumped me.
and, as clever as I am, that’s the moment I realized she was interested in me… when she was on top of me removing her clothes.
I’m pretty quick sometimes.

#18

My current boyfriend and I started out in this weird friends that flirt stage. I was trying to find a way to get him to make a move. One very hot evening (middle of august) we were sitting in his backyard with a few of our friends drinking beer. I sat on the SAME lawn chair as him, kind of wiggled in, and said ”I’m cold”.
He left me alone in the chair and proceeded to build a giant fire. It took like an hour. When he was finished making the fire he sat back down in a DIFFERENT lawn chair.

 

#19

This girl was sitting with our group of boys and saying ”if I was to get with one of you, it would be you [my name]” And I was just like ”Ah thanks very much, very kind of you to say that”

#20

I’ve posted this before, but I had a huge crush on the girl who lived next door to me in high school. Was texting her one night, and she told me that she always wanted to be kissed in the rain. Some short time later she told me to meet her in her driveway and I said something along the lines of ”What are you crazy?! It’s pouring outside!”

#21

When I was in Senior in High School during prom season, there was this girl in most of the classes I was attending. We were good friends, we had much in common, we were at the top of our class. Also, I thought she was cute. One day she and her friend approaches me during lunch.
Girl: Hey, don’t you wanna ask me something?
[Raises eyebrows]
Me: ………..I don’t know, what?
[She and her friend gives each other a look]
Girl: Are you going to prom?
Me: I’m not sure, I don’t have anyone to to with.
End scene.
I didn’t get the hint until years after. But I did end up going to prom with the fellas. I’m a fool.

#22

In high school I sat next to a very quiet guy that I liked and whenever I was cold I made my arm touch his. He would never move but never talked to me other than to ask about class. Ten years later I messaged him on Facebook asking about the reunion and jokingly asked him to be my date. He said sure why not. We’ve been married for year next month. He said he didn’t remember me from high school.

#23

Ok. At 17 I met this girl and she said come over. Let’s hang out. It’s 2am. We hang out near her house. And at 3 am, she’s like. ”Let’s go upstairs and have some coffee”
I said ”no. I’m good. I’m tired. This was fun. Let’s do it again ok?” And just left. She never responded to me again.
At 31. I was in a diner with a few friends and they were talking about how we missed signals. I started to laugh and.. it hit me. Holy shit she wanted sex. God damn it.

#24

Her: Let’s hang out after school, nobody is going to be at my house
Me: Ok cool
Drive her home and hang out with her.
Her: Hey I have a finished attic I like to hang out in and watch movies
Me: Ok cool
Go in the attic where a couch, sheets on the floor, and a TV on a stand are chilling. Turn on some random movie and she proceeds to cuddle on me.
Her: So what do you want to do?
Me: Idk random chatter about movie
Her: My last boyfriend couldn’t last more than 2 minutes with me. No guy has actually.
Me: Oh I could do better than that
Her: Oh yeah? 😉
Me: random chatter about movie

#25

On a trip with a high school sport team, I had a huge crush on a girl on the team. Long story short we start making out in the hotel in a crowded room. She says we should go back to her room because she forgot something. We go back, she sprawls on the bed. I proceed to get on my hands and knees to look for the thing she forgot. We never had sex.

#26

Had a girl I was dating in high school, we were macking on my bed and I started kissing her neck. She says ”stop that makes me horny” but in a playful way. Youngster me was like woah no rape from I

#27

One day shortly before my husband returned home from work I stripped down and put on one of his button up shirts, jumped in to bed, sat all sexy like and waited for him to get home. He gets home and walks in to the bedroom. Boom! Naked wife with her boobs hanging out of your shirt, I thought I was being obvious.
Nope. He lays in bed next to me, talks about his day and looks to be getting ready for a nap. I thought, ”Oh, maybe he’s super tired. I’ll catch him after his nap.” I jump out of bed, but some pants and a shirt on and go down the hallway to fold laundry.
Not but a couple minutes later my husband comes running down the hallway before coming to screeching halt in front of me, he’s doing his best to be smooth with a hint of awkward. He didn’t realize I was initiating sexy time at all. He pulled out all his best moves and dragged me back in to the bedroom.

#28

After a conversation with my boyfriend about not being obvious enough when trying to initiate sex, I decided to entice him by posing naked on the corner of the bed and seductively whispering ”Hey, you” as he walked in the room.
His reaction? He walks in the room, gives me a bro nod, and says, ”Hey, babe! I gotta poop.”
We did NOT end up having sex that night.

#29

Well, when I was in high school a bunch of us went swimming at a local park. While there a girl kept messing with me, splashing me etc. Later we went to a friends house and I grabbed my clothes to change in a bedroom. That girl wanted to ”help me change my clothes”. I told her that I was totally capable of changing my own clothes! Can anyone here out naive that?

#30

We were married two full years before I finally understood that if she took a bath at night I was going to get some. Watched a lot of baseball while she lay sparkling clean in bed alone.

#31

My then-not-boyfriend and I were waiting at the train station on my train home; he would leave with the bus after it arrived. My train came and I thought ‘f*ck it’ and kissed my then-not-boyfriend on the mouth. Immediately after, I jumped on the train, on which the doors then closed. I didn’t see his reaction nor felt it so I sat pretty anxious on the train, thinking I ruined it all. About 5 minutes later, I got a text saying:
‘That was meant as a friends kiss, right?’
Lol, bless his heart.

#32

I knew this girl for a year and had kinda had feelings for her the whole time. We got close for a few weeks and one time I’m watching some films at hers. It gets late and I start to head out, she says ”I don’t want you to go”.
Thinking she was just feeling lonely or whatever I follow her upstairs and we get in bed… and do nothing. Lights go out, we start going to sleep. I’m sitting there the whole time thinking ”damn, I wish I had the balls to make a move” but don’t.
Then she sits up, takes her top off in a way I couldn’t possibly miss, and lies down again. Still, I don’t get that SHE’S trying to make moves on ME.
10 minutes later she finally gives up and just kisses me. She mocked me about this for months after.

#33

”You know I’m single right?”
”Yeah,me too.”

#34

I was coming back home and I was at the bag pickup. This really cute girl and I started talking. The conversation was about how she was just visiting Miami and really didn’t know where to go. After a while we realized that we were the only two people who haden’t gotten their bags cause we were at the wrong conveyor. After some joking and a trip to the baggage claim we got our bags and stayed there talking for a bit. My mom called me telling me that she was outside. I said I had to go and I saw a small look of confusion/frown on her face. I got into the car and then it hit me: she wanted me to show her around town, duh. I just look at my mom and said, ”you have raised the biggest idiot on the planet” and she called me gay once I told her the story.

#35

A girl once shyly approached me at a friend’s house and said, ”So, I think I need to learn how to give blowjobs. I think I might just, you know, ask a male friend to be a, you know, a test subject. And give me feedback.” I said, ”Huh, okay,” and then I played Settlers of Catan for four hours.

#36

Last summer I was doing my best to seduce who is my current boyfriend. We were going swimming at a friend’s house, and while they were changing into their bathing suits in the house, me and him make our way to the pool.
I take advantage of this moment to strip in front of him, as sensual as possible. (Bathing suit was underneath my clothes.)
He runs past me, full sprint, and cannonballs into the pool.

#37

Freshmen year of college, a girl gave me a mix-tape for my birthday (yes I’m old.) The first song was ”Why don’t we do it in the road?” I didn’t ask her out for another 3 months, because I am stupid.
She is now my wife 🙂

#38

I started talking to a guy who was behind on Game Of Thrones. So I offered to give him my HBO password so we could watch it at his place, thinking it would be a good excuse to hang out. He ends up marathoning the show without me. We’re dating now, but he sure as hell not watch season 7 without me

#39

Texting him every day: he thought I was doing it in a friendly manner. Calling him cute names: he though I was kidding. Asking him to judge my outfits: he didn’t think nothing of it. Making bets with him, the loser had to have something done which always revolved around sex: just joking.
I had to tell him I would have liked to have sex with him when I was tipsy, for him to realize I liked him. In the end I’m glad I’ve had something to drink that day, or we wouldn’t have been together for 7 years

#40

I had a girl literally just explicitly say she liked me and wanted to date and I assumed she was joking. She was not.

#41

I’m the guy whose head it went over. After my first real date ever (though at the time I wasn’t sure if it was a date) when I was 19 at the movies, I took her home. I offer to walk her to her door like a sir. When we’re up there she tells me I didn’t have to do that and I reply with something like ”Well, sometimes I like to pull out the old school/traditional moves”. She turns away from the key in her door, takes a slight step towards me, and says ”Well, do you know any more of those traditional moves”…I f*cking bow, tip my f*cking hat, and f*cking say some corny shit like ”I had a lovely time tonight, madam”. I didn’t realize what I’d missed until I was halfway home and I scared the people beside me at the light because I was screaming at the top of my lungs and pounding the dashboard. Telling that story still makes me mad at myself all these years later.

#42

I was sent a picture of a ”halloween” outfit. When i look back and think.. She was just in a bra. I responded with ”you’ll be cold”. Woops.

#43

In high school a girl I walked home with regularly asked me to go to her house to hang out. When we were sitting on her couch, she said that her parents wouldn’t be home for hours and asked if there were any ‘games’ that I’ve always wanted to play with a girl… My reply was ”I dunno, maybe Tekken or something”.. So we played Tekken. On her couch. Alone. For two hours.

#44

Spent the night at a particular guy’s house for the first time. Told him I don’t like sleeping alone at a strange house, which is mostly true. I kind of get freaked out in the dark. He set me up on his futon and made me a playlist of really comforting music. It was really sweet of him, and honestly I slept really well. The next morning I woke him up in his bed and he asked if all along I wanted to sleep in his bed. I laughed a little 🙂
Also we’ve been dating for awhile now.

#45

She ordered an ice-cream cone, ‘accidentally’ smeared it on her cheek, and asked me to get it off. I grabbed the last napkin and wiped it off. Persistent as ever, she ‘accidentally’ smears ice-cream on her other cheek and politely informs me that I can get it off with my mouth, given our napkin deficit. I just said, ”Nah, I hate strawberry”, and used my dry elbows to get it off.
In hindsight, I should have used my shirt.

#46

Texted a guy I work with ”so what are you up to tonight?” as a prelude to asking if he wanted to get drinks or something. Instead of texting he calls me and says ”Why, what’s going on??” Thought I was about to hand him some work-related emergency. ”Haha, no I was just wondering.” ”Oh okay, thank god! Haha bye.” Hangs up the phone.
”No, but… I was… you… never mind.”

#47

Hey, computer store guy, the best response to ”Hey, let me have your number so we can study at my place sometime” is not to roll your eyes and say ”Oh yeah, because you’re so much smarter than me. I don’t need help! I’m fine.”
Though watching your co-worker silently lose his shit in the background was reward enough for that interaction.

#48

Girl invited me upstairs for coffee after a date. I replied with something very similar to:
” No thanks, I don’t like coffee. It keeps me up.”
It wasn’t until I was watching Seinfeld later that I realized I have the dating skills of George Costanza.

#49

This is a hint a girl dropped for me:
Girl: ”hey ;)” Me: ”hi” Girl: ”I’m home alone, wanna come over?” Me: ”uh it’s sort of cold out” Girl: ”oh”
Didn’t even think about it until i was laying in bed that night

#50

I worked the overnight shift at a hotel one summer. Worked with a gorgeous blonde. One Friday night, I came in as her shift was ending. ”Your backup called in sick, so you’ll be here by yourself,” she said. ”Okay,” I replied. ”Would you like me to stick around for a couple of hours? I hate to leave you all alone on a weekend night.” ”No, that’s fine!” This went back and forth a few times, and then she gave me a big smile. ”StuporCollider, I don’t think you understand. I really want to stay.” I smiled. ”Okay, thanks!” Then I went and balanced the credit card receipts.

#51

Oh my god, they literally pulled me on top of them. We were together visiting a friends house, and she walked in to his bedroom and I followed after, so she turned around and grabbed me by the tie then literally pulled me down on top of her on the bed. So what do I do? Get up and apologize.

#52

Put out my hand for him to hold and he high fived me.

#53

I’m a guy and I’ve told this story before but I must again to make clear how oblivious we are:
Met this girl through my (female) best friend. Her and I became friends due to our mutual love of movies. She’s come by most evenings and we’d chill, smoke a jernt and watch foreign films, work through the Criterion collection or catch some underground cult classics…she’d often stay well into the night and sleep over. Often in my room with me.
This went on for a long while and then one day she just disappeared, cut off FB and everything — gone. I knew I did nothing so I figured ”life change” and went on….
Flash forward to years later/last year-ish…I’m on the phone with my best friend and make some joke about ‘Netflix and Chill’ to her, she says ”THATS WHAT ******* SPENT MONTHS TRYING TO DO WITH YOU”…I swear I didn’t know until that moment and worst part is, I was head over heels for that girl.

#54

Asked a guy for his number after a Meetup. Went on a date with him that he didn’t realize was a date until his friend that we ran into texted him to apologize for crashing it. Currently sitting on the couch next to him, 3 years later, looking at dogs that are available for adoption. He eventually caught on.

#55

Went on a date with a girl and she asked if I wanted to come back to hers and stay over. I thought it was perfect as I had work in the morning and she lived right around the corner. I literally got into her bed, said good night, turned over and went to sleep. About a year later something reminded me of that night and the penny dropped. What a f*cking idiot.

#56

Dude here.
Girl at work is standing in front of the door I need to walk through with her back turned to me. I say ”excuse me” and wait for her to move. Instead of stepping to the side, she drops her pen, and literally digs her ass into my crotch. I’m talking sliding the weenie between the buns here. Didn’t think anything of it.
Couple days later she’s like ”Hey gshock37, some of us from work are going to the bar later, but I need a date. Know anyone who wants to go?”
My response: Hmm, not off the top of my head.
Yeah, I’m not suave.

#57

After many moons of trying get this guy in bed I straight up humped his leg in an act of horny desperation. He thought it was hilarious. Years later he asked me why we never hooked up.
Edit: some clarification
We were making out on his couch at the time. I didn’t just attack him and try to f*ck his leg.

#58

We were leaving the beach, and I decided to try the change the suit under the towel trick. Keeping eye contact, I told him if I messed up and flashed him, I hope he likes what he sees. He promply turned around to give me privacy. I kissed him later that night-he got that one 😉

#59

Oh so many. Just hints of like ”It’s getting late, you should stay over” and I respond with ”Nah, I really like my bed.”
Or getting a text at 3AM from a girl who said her bed was freezing and if only there was someway for it to heat up. I recommended a jumper.
I’ll tell you, a lot of hints are missed when you are just f*cking tired.

#60

Well there was one time i did not get the hint.
I was walking home from school with a girl, and all of a sudden she kiss me and asks me if i want to come home with her because her parents were not home.
I said no because i had to get home in time to watch Rex Hunt’s Fishing Adventures

#61

I was married, and wanted to make life a little mor excited. So when he came home from work I stood in the hallway naked, with a rose between my theeth. He opened the door, looked and me and said: Have you swallowed the vase?

#62

.. i have a pole in my living room. so one day i dressed like a school girl and waited for my boyfriend to get home. he walks in and i started doing some pole tricks and he literally walked past me into the bedroom to change.. i was like ‘uh hellllooooo im trying to f*ck’ and he said ‘oh i just thought you were dressed like that’.
he kinda killed it.

#63

Me: ”I really wanna try to sleep with a tall girl, see how it’s like.”
Attractive Girl: ”Well, I’m 6 feet 2” (I’m about 5 feet 8)
Me: ”Nah, I was thinking about 7 feet tall”
Still haunts me.

#64

One of the bustiest, beautiful and smartest girls I’ve met in my life leans up against a nearby car and tells me ”You should ask me out.”
Socially-Inept-17-y/o-Rex: ”Sure.”
Never did. Only after she started acting angry at me did I realize she had a crush on me the whole time.

#65

A friend (now boyfriend of 7 years) asked what I wanted to do that night. I said ”you”. He didn’t even seem to register what I had said. He was like we should go see x movie.

#66

We were seeing a movie together and she said she was cold. I said ”yeah it’s pretty chilly” and did nothing. Later she said it again, pretty obvious what she wanted. I proceeded to give her my jacket to put around her.
I’m a practical man.

#67

I gave a girl a lift home from a date one night and she invited me in for ”Coffee”, I declined. My excuse being that it was late and I would not be able to sleep. That night I couldn’t sleep, because I was up all night kicking myself once I’d realised what ”Coffee” really meant!

#68

Had a crush on my male bf. To start, I used to flirt with him (he’d flirt too), turned up to support him at a charity sport event he took part in when none of his friends did, went to his place for movie marathons, play-fight, and had cinema trips every weekend. Nothing from him. Nothing! So I gave up and decided our friendship was more than enough. I dialed back the flirting and just relaxed.
It took him a year and a half to figure it out. We’re now engaged. Apparently patience does pay off!

#69

When me and my fiance were in high school we were ”best friends”, which of course meant I was too big of a chicken to tell him how I really felt. Well, my move was to always take the seat in front of him and purposely have my thong showing while we had lectures. This went on for all the classes we had together, and we had a lot. I finally had to confess how I felt to him before he left our home town for college after three years of this game. It turns out he was a chicken too. He said those four years were the biggest tease imaginable, it’s hilarious to talk about now.

#70

I attempted to low key ask him to prom. Had to be cool about it you know. Nice and smooth. My phrasing was something along the lines of, ”Maybe you and I should go to prom together. It’d be more fun than going alone.” His response was just ”yeah maybe” before he walked away.
I took this as a rejection and immediately ceased all my other genius attempts at flirting such as hugging, touching his hair, letting him carry my bag to the bus (he just kind of did it? I never made him and it became a daily routine for us), smiling at him and other such things. I thought I was so subtle but almost everyone knew. I found out years later that he honestly had been clueless and the reason he had grown kind of distant with me is he thought I didn’t like him back.

#71

Oh god, I’ve got this one.
My buddy was dating a girl and we all went out to a bar, she brought a friend too (her roommate). Naturally the friend and I are talking and hitting it off. Later we all go back to their place and my buddy and the girl he’s dating go up to her room. The friend invites me to hers.
Now I’m going to stop right here for a moment. I was 21 and a lot less experienced than I am now (29). Now that we have that caveat in place, let’s continue.
So we go up to her room and we’re making out in her bed (clothes on), there’s a little hand wandering but nothing major. She pulls away for a second and looks me in the eye and asks ”Are you big?”. I reply ”You tell me”. So she grabs my dick through my jeans and starts basically giving me a handy. We start making out again and then she pulls back and says ”Well I won’t really know until you’re inside me”. Now in my retarded f*cking brain this meant, ok she is undecided until at some point in the future if she decides she wants to sleep with me, but that time is definitely not now.
We continue making out, but no clothes come off. My buddy and I leave the next day. I never sleep with her. This sequence of events doesn’t strike me as odd, until YEARS later for some reason I am just walking somewhere random and the nights events pop into my head.

#72

My prom date: ”You could come see my room after we leave.”
Me: ”Why?”
Her: ”Oh never mind, forgot to clean it.”
I still think about it once in a while and facepalm just as hard every time.

#73

There was a girl i really liked when i was younger but never had the nerve to make a move. She slept over my house one time, in my bed. At one point she told me she was cold, so i went snd got her another blanket being the gentleman that i am. 12 years later via facebook she told me she was hinting that she wanted to have sex with me but i blew it. She is still super hot as well. Shame.

#74

My fiance and I were chatting on FB Messenger near the start of our relationship and it went something like this:
Him: I haven’t had sex in 2 years
Me: That’s quite a streak, I’d hate to mess it up 😉
Him: Yeah it’s been awhile
….
Wait, what
I then lured him into a hotel, f*cked his brains out, and now we’re getting married.

#75

Me: ”Wow your muscles are super impressive!”
Him: ”Yeah I work out at such and such gym you should check it out.
Me:”I mean I’m already checking you out, but sure I’ll give it a try.”
Him:” Okay see ya around”
Me: FACEPALM

#76

I sat on his lap and I put his arms around my waist, rested my head on his shoulder and held onto his hands. He still had no idea I liked him

#77

A lifetime ago in high school the extremely cute exchange student from Spain sort of cornered me and started asking questions about an upcoming school dance. What is it like? Is it fun? Are you going with anyone?
Ynez, if you’re out there, I’m sorry. I’m a dope.

#78

I was left home alone for a week during spring break when I was 17. I invited my friends over everyday and they came and went as they pleased. My best friend (female) and I went swimming and got into a conversation about sex with each other. Later that day everyone came to my house and we watched movies on netflix until about 2:30-3:00 ish in the morning. As they left I headed to bed and hear the door close. Next thing I know my best friend got in bed with me and asked can we cuddle so she can stay warm. We sleep and I wake up to our lips touching. I got out of bed and made breakfast. After she ate and left my house I got a text from her saying verbatim ”why didn’t you have sex with me I’ve been horny all week”

#79

Mid-makeout session…
Me: ”Do you want to f*ck?”
Him: ”What?”
Me: ”Do you want to f*ck?”
Him: [Pause.] ”Yes.”
We continued to make out. We had sex three months later. Maybe he thought it was more of a rhetorical question?

#80

Walked a girl home because I had a huge thing for her and because that’s what gentleman should do for ladies at night. Got to her door and she said I should see her room because she just decorated it and tells me all about it. I just nod and say it sounds really cool. She leans against the wall next to the door and just keeps talking to me, occasionally bringing up the room. Again I’m not taking the hint that I should move with her to the room. She starts playing with the hood strings on my hoodie, pulling them closer to her. I’m actually putting up resistance instead of just going in for the kiss. Finally she pulls really hard and I pull back and lose my footing and almost fall. We talk a little bit more, she brings up her room. I say something stupid like ”Oh I’ll have to see it next time I come over”. She goes inside, I walk back across campus and realize what an idiot I am. I tell my friend about it and he literally smacks the shit out of me. She ended up having to kiss me a week later before I finally got the hint.

#81

Had a friend do something like this. Some hot girls outside a bar wanted him to take their picture with his phone as they were leaving so one of them said ”lemme give you my number so you can text it to me.” He smiled and said ”oh I can just use your phone.” Which he did and then realized a week later his mistake.

#82

Not a lady, but I had this girl visit me and sleep with me in the same bed on four different occasions…from half across the country.
I thought we were just friends.
Ten years later I was taking a shit and it dawned on me that she didn’t travel across the country just to sleep ffs.
I feel bad for the girl now, because I was really into her too.

#83

In college, I had a lot of crazy, curly hair. This girl in one of my classes started chatting me up, and said, ”You have good hair. Whenever I see guy with good hair like that, I like to imagine grabbing on to it when he’s going down on me.”
I was all, like, ”Oh, that’s interesting.”

#84

I told my boyfriend to get naked and he responded ”YOU get naked” so I said ”Okay. I will if you’re nice to me 😉 ”. He laughed and went to sleep. Guess he didn’t want to be nice ._.

#85

I was a freshmen in highschool and I had one of those digital organizers and this super hot girl put her number in it and I asked her ”Why would you put your number in there?” Her answer: ”You know I’m single, right? You can use that number to call me.” and I just responded with ”ha ha, yeah, me too” and I never called her. Oyyyy vey.

#86

”We can go up to my dorm and work on this homework together if you want …”
”Nah, we can just do it in the dorm lounge over there. ”
”Oh… OK.”
Still internally scream about this when it comes to mind.

#87

Hitting on my now boyfriend of three years. I was complimenting him on how handsome he was and how he had beautiful eyes. I wanted a closer view of them so he texted me this creepy ass shot of his eyeball with his eye as widely opened as possible. He legitimately thought that’s what I wanted. After our first date, I immediately started talking about potential future dates and how much fun I had with him. I stayed out so late that I missed my friends party. However, because I didn’t hug him properly and asked to split the cost of the meal, he thought I wasn’t actually interested.

#88

I was at a party drinking with a guy I had a bit of a crush on. We were joking around and I told him to touch my boob, because he jokingly accused me of padding my bra (since they’re quite large).
He DID touch them for a second, but then he just kept going on with the conversation. I figured he wasn’t interested and I got over it.
I think he realized his mistake cause he always made it a point to like everything I post on facebook.

#89

Girl next door: ”Could you walk me home? I get nervous in the dark”
Me: ”I can see your house from here, the lights are on. Just text me when you get inside”
Coulda had a sweet make out sesh in the bushes… multiple times.

#90

In class a girl asked if we could study together for a minor quiz at her place.
A friend overhears and asks if he can join us, I say yes immediately before she can say anything.
She sends us her address and a time. I show up and she answers the door in a bikini. Nobody else at her place. She says she was sunbathing and asks me into her room while she changes. I look away to be polite and then make small talk once she’s done.
My friend shows up 30 minutes later, turns out she told him that the study group started 30 minutes after what she told me.
Sigh…

#91

Invited me to her house when her parents were out. Then asked if I wanted to see her room.
Stupid teenage me was more curious how the popcorn from the popcorn machine in the kitchen tasted.

#92

Climbing up on top of my lap in a hot tub and taking off her top and kissing me.
Me: ”Haha you’re silly that’s not how you swim”
In my defense I was really really drunk

#93

I was at the school gym when a very attractive girl that I knew from classes got off the stair climber and came and talked to me. She wanted to know what she could do to make her butt more rounded. She precedes to turn and arch her back so I can judge her butt. I knew very little on the subjective but I told her the stair climber and squats seemed like a good idea. She then asked what I thought of it, the whole time presenting her backside to me. I say ”Oh, it looks fine” She just stares into my eyes with back still arched. I basically give her ”Welp, see ya later”
It didn’t dawn on me for a few weeks she was hitting on me. She was well out of my league. I was single. I hate myself.

#94

Dang it, story time from my perspective. Hindsight is 20/20.
At work with this girl, K. She comes over to my house a lot. Spends time watching TV, joking around, snacking. I think just having fun together as friends because
1) I have never been in a relationship before. (About 21 at the time)
2) I was raised in a super conservative Christian home.
Anyways, one day her best friend is hanging out with me and asking tons of questions about how I feel about K. ”You two are spending a lot of time together, are you going to ask her out?” Of course i respond with how we are just friends, she shouldn’t worry about it, blah blah, I am so bad at hints it’s painful.
Fast forward a week or so. K is over at my house super late and decides she isn’t going home, she will just sleep at my place. I insisted on sleeping on the couch. She was having none of it. I find a ”compromise” and sleep in pajamas for the first time in 10+ years and sleep under the blanket but not the sheet, so we are not actually touching. She gets super cuddly, and I roll over and go to sleep.

#95

A girl once told me that out of all the guys she knows I would be the only one she would date and I responded saying sweet

#96

I was talking to a girl I hadn’t seen since we were kids. It was around the time of schools having their proms/formals and stuff. I asked her if she was taking anyone, and she said ”no, but I really want to go with someone” and smiled and looked at me. I literally said ”oh, I hope you find someone” and brushed it off. Not exactly smooth.

#97

I was at a Halloween Party dressed up as a piece of bacon when this girl walks up to me tells me she wants my bacon. I was pretty drunk at this point and trying to find my friends so we could leave. When I finally got home I realized how much of an idiot I was.

#98

During a College Bowl tournament, I once opened a storage closet out of curiosity and a girl followed me in, grinning. ”Look at the size of this thing! I can’t believe we’re in this room every week and never noticed it!” She nodded enthusiastically and said ”I know! This place is bigger than my bedroom!” She sat down, smiling. ”Quieter, too.” My response: ”Yeah, these dividing walls are surprisingly thick.” I then walked out of the closet and pounded on the wall. I poked my head in. ”Could you hear that? Ha! Well, I’m getting a Diet Coke.”

#99

Her: ”No one has even asked me to homecoming!”
Me: ”Yeah, me either. So what are you going to do?”
Her: ”Well, I guess if no one is going to ask me… I’ll probably just stay home.”
Me: ”That’s probably what I’ll end up doing too.”
Her: ”Yeah, so… it would be really nice to go though.”
Me: ”I agree, but oh well!”
Her: ”o_O”
Me: ”Mind if I call you that night?”
Her: ”Ummm, sure.. ”

#100

In highschool I invited my first boyfriend over at 1am, while my parents were out of town, to watch Balto. We watched the whole damn thing, he gave me a hug, and biked home. To be fair it’s a pretty bitchin’ movie.

#101

”Hey, do you want a girlfriend?”
”Nah, I hate pretty much everyone here.”
Holy f*ck I’m a dumbass.

#102

I was 19, in the Army, had just found out I was pregnant, and VERY alone. I cried on the shoulder of a good friend (not the father), and he finally said, ”Let’s go see a movie, and forget about it, for awhile.” During the movie he whispered, ”You know this is a date, right?” and I laughed, and told him to stop making fun of me. Three months, and many dr’s appt’s and baby gear shopping trips later, I was still oblivious…right up until he asked me to marry him. 33 years last January.

#103

A girl I’d been chatting with for a while asked to come back to my hotel room to see my music collection on my laptop.
So I took her back and showed her my music collection for 30 minutes. That’s not a euphemism, I literally did that until she took pity on how clueless I was and basically jumped me.

#104

I remember one time I was at a party talking to one of my friends who I really like. She started talking about her job which involved dressing up like a princess and being a children’s party entertainer. I can’t exactly remember how the conversation went down but I said ”That must be a fun job.” and she smiled and said ”Yeah but we could use a prince charming” or something along those lines. I being a socially inept blockhead just said something like ”Well there are lots of people looking for jobs these days.” and went off to get some chips. I still can’t believe how dumb I am was.

#105

I was in a girls bedroom when she tells me that she is now on birth control so she can have sex anytime. I said” oh, thats nice” (facepalm)

#106

One time, before my boyfriend and I were dating, we sat on a bench together and two things happened. First, I sat there then said I was cold and proceeded to rest me head on his shoulder and snuggle real close. No reaction. The second thing that happened was I ended up standing up and holding my hand out in a way to show I wanted to hold his hand. He ended up using it to help himself up. Clueless. I laughed it off and told him I meant we should hold hands. His look of realization was priceless.

#107

My friend told me this. Once he was out with a group of friends to a movie, and then he commented how cold it was and this girl friend offered her hand and said, ”you can hold my hand, it’s warm.”

He said, ”oh no need, I should be fine soon.”

#108

I had a crush on my co-worker. At the company party I was really drunk and I told him that I liked him. His answer: ”Thanks.” As a shy girl, I didn’t really planned this and I felt shame all over me. I couldn’t look him in the eyes for weeks.. Now this guy is fast asleep next to me and he is not my boyfriend anymore. He proposed to me last years and I said YES!

#109

Not a lady, but a girl once asked me ”so where are you sleeping tonight?”, and I was just like ”at home, I live 5 minutes away so that pretty sweet”. And it was pretty sweet until the day after when my friend told me that I’m retarded

#110

In high school, a girl asked me for a ride home from a football game one time, to which I agreed. She asked if I wanted to come in and see her room (I forget why this seemed like a normal thing), and that it wouldn’t bother her parents because they weren’t home.
So, I went in and had a tour of her house, then left. I was pretty pissed off when I figured it out a while later.

#111


I was talking with a new friend on a full bus about a short clip where this kid is playing with his toy and the toy says,” I don’t like it when you touch my buttons like that”. This cute girl walks over to us interrupts our laughter and says,” but I do” while intensely looking into my eyes. Most awkward 10 seconds ever.
In my defense, I was a high school freshman, who grew into his weight over the summer. I thought girls still thought I was fat and ugly.

#112

There’s this cute boy at work (theme park, lots of people) who has literally NO CLUE. I flirted with him for about a year before he finally realized what was happening. We went on dates while he thought he didn’t stand a chance. When I knew he was into me I couldn’t kiss him because of horrible cold sores that lasted about a month. Finally he realized I liked him and came into the reception area (where I was working) to report lost property: his heart. Most romantic moment of my life!

#113

I asked him if he wanted to go to my dorm for Netflix and chill. We watched Parks and Rec for two hours and then he went home without touching me once.

#114

”Do you wanna hookup?”
When I showed up at his house he was actually surprised that I wanted to have sex with him. I literally said, ”I just want to have sex with you, please stop talking.”

#115

My bf: Do you wanna sex? Sure?
Me: I have your penis in my hand for 15 minutes, what do you think?
My bf: oh nice!

#116

I stripped completely naked, played sexy music and started rubbing his shoulders.
He didn’t even turn around and just asked if I wanted to order pizza for dinner…

#117

Guy here.
A girl at a party told me I looked just like the lead singer from Everything Everything. I’d never heard of that band but uhh… thanks… I guess I’ll google it at some point. So a bit later, a pretty catchy song came on and she said something about how she would f*ck anyone who looks at all like the guy from this band. You can see where this is going, but it whooshed right over my head.

#118

An incredible blind-guy:
Met her in the bar
lot’s of dancing together, drinks
her hand sitting on my thigh almost all the time as we sat
She asks me to walk her home, saying no-one is home and she feels unsafe.
I agree, infront of her home we stand there ”the moment”, she takes initiative and kisses me.
I literally jump up, because i was looking just past her face at this new Audi driving up the hill kinda half zoned out..

#119

She drove 10 miles so I could give her a back massage, for which she was topless on my bed (facedown). I never acted on it, because I’m a f*cking idiot. ”Welp, that’s your massage” ”uhh thanks does up bra dresses leaves” – 2 years later ”oooooh. Whoops”

#120

This girl and I were alone in my apartment, and we’d just finished watching a movie. She’d had her head resting on my lap the entire time. Afterwards we were spooning on the couch, she cuddled up against me, kissed me on the cheek, and looked up at me expectantly. I stared at her for a few moments and then said, ”so… what do you want to do?”. After a while I ended up taking her home.

#121

A girl that was a really great friend needed a place to stay between the end of school and when her apartment would be ready. She stays with me. First night, in bed together and she has a big teddy bear in between us. Next morning I make a joke about the teddy bear being there. She comments ”he doesn’t need to be in the bed.” Next night, I come home late. Find her asleep in bed without the bear. I fall asleep on the floor. She wakes me to come to bed. I fall back asleep on the floor. 🙁

#122

At the end of a field-course where me and now husband met, we’re all in a bar. I wait until most people are sat then ”oh no, there’s no seats, I’ll have to sit on your knee”. Proceed to laugh at jokes, flick hair etc. Later on I say I’m tired and would he walk me back to my room.
He responds ”no I’m not tired yet”!

#123

I was backpacking in finland, and stayed in a hostel. On my way walking there, I met a female backpacker at a bar. She asked where I’m heading and I told her. She proceed to ask me to share a room since if we pay together, we can get a nice private room. I said okay.

When we get to the room, I went straight for a bath. I didnt bother locking the door. She then enter and jumped on me. I was confused.

Did i took it wrong or did she took it wrong? My face was puzzled while she gave me a blowjob.

#124

Boyfriend and I were in his fraternity bedroom, talking. I was trying to indicate that I was interested in him, and we began talking about his first time with a girl. He told me that the girl told him she couldn’t tell what color his eyes were behind his glasses — so he took them off, and, well, things progressed from there.

There was a long moment of silence, and I looked at him and said, ”So — what color ARE your eyes?”

”They’re blue.”

CLUELESS!!!!

#125


Before our third(?) date, she said I could stay over at her place if it got late. So we’re watching a movie on TV there, and at the end of it, I said ”I guess I better let you head off to bed. I’ll take the couch.”
She literally had to say ”I was hoping we could snuggle” before I got the hint.

#126

She would always bump into me by ”accident” and her pupils grew immensely when I talked to her, only realised after my friends pointed this out.

#127

My best friend in high school was a guy I had a huge crush on. I constantly dropped hints, flirted and hung out with him. One day he invited me to his house after school his parents were still at work. He was showing me around his house when we got to his garage and he was showing me a car he was fixing up. He said, ”Yeah, I like to bring girls home that I like and have sex in the back seat.” I was like, ”Oh, cool.” And went back inside the house. Yeah, I’m a dumb ass.

#128

I had a major crush on a guy who I’d been friends with for a couple of years. He’d ask me out to various events, but he never indicated any interest in me. One night we were at a friend’s birthday party and I told him I was flying to Toronto to see the Rolling Stones and that I was going to be staying in a hotel. I said ”Hey, I have an extra ticket – why don’t you come with me?” He replied ”Well I don’t really like the Rolling Stones.” Amazingly, we are now living together.

#129

Ok, so just spent the last hour trying to start off with my partner of 6 years, like my head was next to his balls whilst laying on the bed.
He places a hand on my head looks me straight in the eyes and say’s, I wonder if they have a cheese market in Gouda. Then starts looking it up, I mean I love cheese and we are going there this year but really, really.

#130

I was hanging out with a girl in first year university. We were cuddling and watching Harry Potter 2 if I remember correctly. She mentioned she was really ”hot” and took off her pants. I just kept watching the movie. Took me a good 20 minutes until she went down on me to realize she was interested..

#131

I was collecting money for war veterans during military service and went to knocking door to door in a student dormitory. One door opened and two horny student chicks opened the door. I explained the matter and they replied they don’t have money, but asked if they could give something else instead of money (flirting all the time). I laughed and said someone else tried already to give empty bottles, greeted for their time and closed the door.
I’m still trying to build a time-machine.

#132

New year’s eve party, a girl comes up to my best friend and tells him:
”Alex, i m going home, can we go back together?
Alex says: why ? you live north, i live south, it doesn’t make sense.

we had to explain to him…

#133

Years ago I was working on a passenger ship, this cute waitress invited me into her cabin for a massage because I was grumbling over an aching back. Later that evening, I’m in her cabin, laying face down on her bed with nothing but my undies on. She gives me a bloody amazing massage, went at it for like 45 minutes. When she was done I got up and got dressed, she asked me if I wanted to stay for the night.
I was like ”Nah I’m good, thanks though” and left.
Took me a week to figure it out. *Sigh*

#134

I’m a woman and I was the dumb one.
Met this guy ata bar. We started talking because he was the dd for his friend and I’m not much of a drinker. I’m a wallflower, so it was nice to be noticed. I was enjoying talking to him and I thought he was cute.
Fast forward to the end of the night and he hands me his business card (his construction company) and says that if I need any kind of work done to give him a call.
It wasn’t until I saw him a few weeks later, that he explained it to me. Smh.

#135

Him: (good looking, if a bit full of himself; surprisingly vacuous for his degree and position) Do you want to go into the bedroom?
Me: No, I’d rather stay in here with you.

#136

Me and a buddy were standing in line behind a beautifully tatted up blonde at the bank. When leaving the bank, (she walked out maybe 10 mins before us), she comes up to me and says her car won’t start and asks if I had jumper cables and could come take a look at it. I say no, I don’t have any jumper cables and drive off. She passed me on the road not 10 secs later.

#137

Me: So, maybe I could buy you a drink tonight?
Him: Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t drink!
Me: *internal scream* Oh… I guess I’ll… see you around then…

(Luckilly, it did click after a while: it’s our seventh anniversary this year.)

#138

When I was in grade nine I had detention with a popular boy I thought was super cute. I was very shy and never tried to talk to him but this day he talked to me. He said he would totally date me and I replied, laughing, Pff, no you wouldn’t. I’m not your type. Years later we met and talked and he told me he was dead serious but didn’t pursue it because of what I said. What a bone head.

#139

Been trying to get him ask me out for a while. One day on text:
Him: hey do you like Indian food?
Me (absolutely don’t like it, but if it will get him to ask me out I am all down to deal with the bathroom run consequences..): I actually don’t know, only had it once before. Love to give t a try though! *winkwink
Him: oh let me know after you have tried it then

I just screamed on the street..

#140

Very cute guy friend in school: want to do some gardening at my house with me this weekend?
Me: (confused) um, sure?
That weekend…
Him: where do you want to start?
Me: I dunno tell me where, still confused.
Him: you can start by planting your tulips on mine.
Me:?????????????? Picks up flowers and starts looking for tulips.
Us: spends the day gardening, I go home. We stay friends.
20 years later
Me: HOLY SHIT! He wanted me to kiss him

#141

Once met a girl online when she posted ”kinda want to make out with somebody right now”, she went to my school so I replied ”me too”. Anyway we start talking and we become pretty good friends over this post, fast forward a few weeks when she says she wants to talk to me irl, so we hang out at the school for a bit and half an hour in she asks if I wanted to do anything…. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized she wanted to make out with ME. Anyway we have now been dating for 7 months.

#142

In high school my male friend got a text from my female friend saying ”Oh you’re so sexy ;), let’s be together”. He thought it was a joke because he doesn’t think that anyone could had liked him so he told her to stop fooling around.Throughout the year they would hang out at each other’s house after school and they sat next to each other in class with her still dropping hints to him. A year later the girl gave up giving hints and just kissed him on the lips.
So they’re dating now.

#143

Yeah, so met this guy we went to lunch together every day, spent hours texting everyday. He came over and met my kids. Had dinner several times at my house. So he asks me to go have dinner with him at Red Robin. I was so nervous. I called my BFF and say ”Oh, my god I am goin on a date with this guy.” She was like ”You have been dating him for 6 weeks!”
Good thing he didn’t mind I was a dunder head. We have been married almost five years and he is adopting the kids.

#144

I was laying down on a bench with my head in his lap talking about our previous /experiences/ (this was high school) and he told me he had never had a bj before. I told him, with my head in his crotch, that I could blow his mind. Nothing. Crickets.

EDIT: we were in a public park and I was a 16 year old with a rapidly approaching curfew. I didn’t expect him to whip it out but I wanted him to have it in mind. I did end up delivering, but not before trying to be coy one last time and being completely straightforward the third time.

#145

This just in: my BF just woke up from a nap and I slid into bed, naked, all handsy and kissy, trying to seduce him. His response? ”*yawn* I have to go cook”. I told him, point blank, that I came into the room for some action and was denied. ”I don’t get it”, he says, and walks out.

#146

Once I was staying at his place. After a nice warm shower, came out in just a towel wrapped around me thought it might seduce him. What he did. He looked away and gave me some ”privacy” while I changed into my clothes. After few weeks he told me he was shy and blushed a lil seeing me in a towel for the first time.
We’re still happily together since last 7 years

#147

It didn’t happen to me but a buddy of mines. he was at an anime convention in which he was talking to a cute girl dress as Yang(from the series RWBY). in which they were really hitting it off. Eventually, she asked if he wanted to go to a party in his room. In which she completely blew her off in favor of going to a panel. Since then he has been kicking himself in the rear when he realize what kind of party it was not helped by the fact that he is the”Most awkward male” in the group now

#148

(cont.) and the guy who lives there. The party was still on for the three of them, they continued dancing, drinking and talking. The day after, he told me that the girl, who isn’t really close with the guy living there, had said ”Ugh, the last train home goes in two hours. I wish I had some company, maybe stay at someone’s place overnight so I don’t have to ride the train so late at night. I have nothing special to do tomorrow anyway.” So my friend offers to walk her to the train. *facepalm*

#149

Guy here.
Me and this girl was on the school bus back home once and the girl just out of nowhere said ”Hey ******, I love you” and I go ”Oh okay…” and proceeded to put my earphones on…
Shows how big of an idiot I am 🙁

 

#150

Husband and I folding laundry….I picked up my basket and said ”Hey…ready to come upstairs and help me” and literally winked at him… he looks me right in my eyes, deadpan, and says, ”But I have to match my socks”🤦‍♀️ We’re still married, and have two kids, and leave a lot of clothes unfolded now😉

#151

I went to study abroad in canada when i was 18 and i met this amazingly beatiful girl. so a group of friends her and me were at her house playing truth or dare. me: truth
her: who was your first kiss
me: I’ve never kissed someone, guess i’d like to wait for the right one
her: Wow you know i’ve alway wanted to be someones first kiss
Then she asked me to help her with something on her room and she said ”you know i’m also waiting for the right one to have some fun on bed” me: That’s great.

#152

I slept with my best friend for four years in the same bed every time getting more sexy with my night clothes until one night I got buck naked hoping he’d get the hint.. turns out he’s gay and sleeping with my brother and was scared to tell me but I was trying to figure out how he wasn’t getting the hints I wanted to take our relationship to the next level.. situation is reversed wasn’t the guy that couldn’t get the hint this time!

#153

In high school, I had just started dating one of my friends. He was really tall, and had admitted to having a crush on me for over a year. I was talking to him, and casually mentioned our height difference by saying ”I’ll have to stand on a chair to reach your lips.” His response ”Why would you need to stand on a chair? Your arms aren’t that short. And why would you need to reach my lips, anyway?”

Facepalm.

#154

Not a girl, but I was interested in a gay guy from my school about year eleven. I brought myself to actually talk to him
Me: ”Do you want to go get coffee and study in the library?”
Him: ”What? I dont have anything to study for.”
3 weeks later he got the hint that I liked him (after alot more flirting with him) and came into my classroom to give me coffee. We went out that night

#155

So I had my friend over a few years ago and we were cuddled up on my couch and she was like ”can you play with my hair?” So i start doing it and after a few minutes she looks over and goes ” you know that really turns me on” me knowing her as usually being pretty pg-13 goes ”oh sorry” and stops. She decided to tell me she was into me after I was dating another girl six months later.

#156

I went to order a beer and they told me it was past time. A guy sitting at the bar yells out that he has beer at his house, to which i responded, so do I……As I am walking away he and his friends burst into laughter and tell me that was cold blooded. I was single for ever, and always wondered how come no one was ever interested me…..My cousin told me that i shoot down ever guy she has ever seen try speaking to me. I had to make a conscious effort to get my boyfriend that I have now.

#157

Him : hi , I just arrived in your town , and my parents house is empty and I’m alone
Me : oh hello , so what u gonna do alone in your parents house, should I come over?
Him: nothing so special you know , playing video’games , and you ?
Me: hmm , idk …
Him : aham , ok . have fun .

#158

So my boyfriends parents and brother are always missing from home. One day I told him that my period was over and asked him if we’ll do something fun that evening and he says ”hm ok we’ll see”. After I took a bath shaved etc. I text him whats he doing and he replies ”nothing just visited my uncle”.
WTF!!

#159

One time in this barnes and noble, I was reading.
Girl comes up to me and says, ”can I have your number”.
”no”. I say.
Talking on a phone was horrifying for me.
Too scared to say, ”my email works though”.

#160

One time I was in Mexico visiting my dad for 2 months and this girl approached me while playing soccer she talked to my cousin more but he was way younger and one day we’re at her house and he goes to the bathroom and she tells me to follow her, she leads me to her room she’s standing by her bed looking at it I’m standing by the doorway thinking why am I here I should go home soon then after 5 seconds she walks back out of her room I follow her and we go back to chilling in her living room

#161

Me: You talk a lot and smile a lot when you’re around me
Girl: Yeah, what ya gonna do? You gonna stop me 😉
Me: Yeah I could stop you talking
Girl: How you gonna do that? 😉
Me: *puts hand over her mouth, laughs and walks away*
She was crazy about me and I was crazy about her and we had loads of situations like this happen but neither ever had the confidence to tell the other truth. This story doesn’t have a happy ending like the rest..we aren’t together, we dont even talk anymore…

#162

In highschool, I became friends with one of my female classmates. I had a crush on her and hoped to hook-up at some point. She asked if I wanted to spend the night. Her mother was out of town. Stupidly, I slept in the other room because she said she didn’t want me to sleep in her bed because ”We might have sex if I do.” She wasn’t a virgin and I was and she kept bringing that up – like she didn’t want to be my first. Like a moron, I fell asleep in that other bedroom that night.

#163

texts with my bf the day after him trying to get into my pants on a date:

me: I almost didn’t stop you yesterday
bf: I wasn’t going to go all the way
me: how far were you going to go?
bf: fingering
me: now I’m horny
bf: I wish there was something I could do about it

me later: well, thanks for nothing. I kinda had been hoping that you would try and help out, but i guess I’ll have to be less subtle in the future
bf: that flew right over my head

#164

I told my guy I was too old for him even though he was perfect for me in every way. He believed me. A year of hinting friendship that included hundreds of dates, shared birthdays, Christmas and new year spent just with me, he still didn’t get that I had made him mine a long time ago. So new years day, I climbed on him and kissed him first. Seven years later, he’s lying fast asleep next to me as I write this post and grow his baby.

#165

My guy friend must be the most oblivious person on Earth. We went to a party at a mutual friend’s house, and there was this girl that he has a thing for, and I can tell she’s really into him as well (but he’s too damn oblivious to notice). She lives about 40 miles away, so she has to come here by train. Anyway, they look for each other immediately and spend the whole night talking. As it got later and later, people start to drop off. I left at about 1 AM and there were only my friend, the girl,

#166

This post is literally my boyfriends life. I am a full time student and work a full time job, so I pretty much live in jeans, t-shirts and little to no makeup everyday of my life. When I want to have sex I normally style my hair nicely, put on a full face of makeup, will suggest going out to dinner and I put actual real clothes on. I will go to bed naked like he likes. I’ll even brush over his packaged a few times! He will kiss me goodnight and pass out unless I mention sex at dinner.

#167

My now husband never Missed a beat when he told me how he felt, I however was dumb as dirt. He came to my apartment one night, at 1a.m. while my kids were with their dad. He knew I was fresh out of the tub and we were talking on the phone, he asked for my address and obliviously gave it to him and never heard him call a taxi from his house phone. He showed up and I didnt think much of it. We were roommates a year and a half prior. I had no clue he was there to seduce me. We are now 8 years strong

#168

Being completely oblivious in my youth I got a note passed to me by the cutest bustiest girl in class asking if I wanted to ”mack”with her. Not knowing that mack meant make out, I looked at her and said ”what the fuck? No?” She loathed with a passion for the rest of the year for unknowingly shutting her down. It didn’t help she was my cousin’s best friend as it turns out so she was always over at her house and mine….

Ps it’s ok though she ended trapping her bf by putting holes in the rubber

#169

I used to work as a head cook and one day our barista came and joined me for a smoke outside. This chick was smoking hot the kind of women that had all the rights bits and sizes. Anyway she doesn’t smoke, then she gave me a lift home and told me about her love life and how she really just wants a no strings attached friend. Long story short she dropped me home and I said bye and that story still stings to this day.

#170

guy i had liked for years with mutual subtle flirting… we’re at a friend’s birthday do… chatting about random unimportant stuff…

me: you know, it’s such a strange coincidence that we’ve never been single at the same time, either you’re taken and i’m not or vice versa
him: yes it is a coincidence
me (hopeful): well since you broke up with her last month, i want to tell you i’m now single too…
him: wow, now that IS a coincidence! *continues chatting about random stuff*
me: 0.o

#171

In the college auditorium with an extremely pretty junior who was a volunteer along with me in the security team. We’ve known each other for a few weeks and get along well. So she’s leaning into me completely as the auditorium is dark while performances are on & starts telling me, quote ”we have we kissed yet” & I asked her why would we! She answered saying cause you’re my bf. We still didn’t kiss or date. I regret that everyday.

#172

Back in college a friend of mine drove to my apartment to surprise me for my birthday. He and I had known each other forever and we’d been flirting heavily on and off for years. That weekend he spent the night at my place and I figured it was time to make a real move, so I told him he didn’t need to spend the night on my couch, I had a queen sized bed and more than enough room (I had no pants on as I said this). His response? ”No it’s okay. I snore and you have exams tomorrow.” His loss.

#173

i was at a friends party, i met this lady and we didnt talk much, later she said to join her in her bed becouse it would be less laudery(i thought nothing of it) later she told me she wasent tierd at all and was kind of bored, if it was just something we could do(i thought nothing of it and tried to turn on a tv) she then took her top off and begane closing in on me(i thought nothing of it and i sad sorry and gave her more rom in the bed) i didnt realize until se took my hands around her…..

174

I was in a student production of Les Mis, and all the girls were told to create families with the guys to have connections at the barricade. So I liked this one guy, and I figured now or never, so I went over and asked jokingly if he’d marry me, since he’s the cutest guy in the room. Took him a month to catch on.

#175

When i was 19 yo a dutch actress Rifka L (25) an I went to the movies together. After the film I brought her home. I stopped at her front door.. en she Kissed me on the cheek.. then she looked at me and asked if I would like some coffee….
I said no.. I can’t see any parking space… it’s better I go home or I get a ticket…

How stupid have I bin…
Didn’t get it till years later…

#176

Went out one night with the guy I liked and a couple of his friends. I kept flirting with him the entire night. He didn’t notice a thing two months later he realised that I flirted with him and asked me out. We’re together for 2 yeats now. Till this day I can’t give him any signals

#177

I had started talking to this guy a few weeks back and we really hit it off. Because of this, I started to develop feelings. Fast forward a week, I was feeling a bit desperate, wanting this guy to know I liked him. So I asked him relationship advice (so I could use it on him). I always called him dork and explained what it meant during the convo (basically ‘I like you’) and he said ‘yeah but I know you’re just joking.’ I wanted die from the irony. But anyway we’ve been together for a day now.

#178

I literally told my SO that I came in my sleep while dreaming of him, but no, nothing. Sigh…

#179

I used to have a much younger colleague and he was a timid and quite guy while I was a chatty woman. Somehow we get close and we found that we shared similar interest in art and music. One day he said that he would like to go to an art exhibition by himself and that exhibition happened to be the one that I would like to attend and he knew it. My reaction was: Ah cool.
I know think that was his way asking me out.

#180

To show that not only boys are oblivious to hints. When I was in highschool I was walking home with HIM and a friend(girl). He wispered something in her ear and said ”Tell her!”. She refused.Then they argued for a bit, but I wasnt paying attention. After that I aked what was that about. Since the girl wouldnt say, I asked my friend and after I told him not to akt like a child he said ” I love you” so fast that I almost didnt hear him. I said”Oh. I-I love you too” and that was it. Nothing hapened

#181

Me: Do you still have gum left?
Girl I was dating: You can take mine. ( she showed it to me by biting on it )
Me: ok thanks.
Then I took it by my hand.
I didn’t realize that she wants me to take it by using my lips. (Facepalm)

#182

My guy best friend is always there for for me whenever I needed him. He showed up every time I needed him and would politely ask to walk me him every night we hang out. He was dating some girl at the time. One night when he was walking me home, I stopped him a few feet from my house at a dark spot and told him ”You can drop me here because my parents might see you if we take any step further.” He then kissed me on the forehead and left. Months later he wanted to know who I was dating and why.

#183

I met this intelligent hottie (a decade younger) at a professional conference. After a session, she said that she remembered me from the prior year’s event; I did not. For two days, she kept asking for my card. I finally asked if I hadn’t already given it to her. (She admitted it, but only later in a telephone conversation.) She had even asked me what I was doing after dinner, and I replied with ”Work.” After a few calls after the conference did I realize that she was interested. -still single-

#184

In college, I was friends with a straight couple(they knew I was gay). I lived off campus and had a waterbed. Senior year, the guy says that he was thinking of getting a waterbed & wanted to sleepover to see what it was like before he bought one. I said ok. We were in bed talking and he asked me if I had (gay) porn. I thought he was going to make fun of me so wouldn’t let him and I went to sleep. It was only after graduation that I realized he wanted to fool around. I regret it to this day!

#185

I lived in a hostel with a guy I liked. One night after a few drinks (2 tops) I climbed him and kissed him passionately for a good hour or so. We then had to part ways as my roommate had got herself insanely drunk and was seeing ghosts in our room. Next day I made it obvious that I liked him and he said nothing. The next day he still hadn’t mentioned a thing. I ended up bailing him up in the hallway and asked him what he wanted to do about the other night. His response was, I don’t know, what do you want to do about it? Awkwardly I said I think we should keep doing it 17 years later and we have been inseperable.

#186

This one wasn’t even a hint. I was talking to this girl and one day she calls me in the middle of the night asking me to pick her up and hang out. I ended up driving around talking to her all night and eventually she says she should be getting home. When we get there we sit in the car and she just keeps smiling at me and grabbing my leg until she grabs my dick and says ”I want to fuck you” my response was ”I’m sorry” and she then got out and stood by her door smiling at me again so I waved and left

#187

So there was that guy in my class that I liked for a while, we talked a lot and would occasionally hang out. A few months later we went on a school trip or something and we talked non-stop for hours about many things. At some point, we started talking about relationships and he was like ”I think communication is very important” so I tell him ”I know right, I would love to date someone with whom I could talk with for hours”. All he told me was ”me too” and he totally forgot about it afterwards.

#188

One night I dressed in a nighty and yelled downstairs (several times) for my now husband to come upstairs. He finally comes up all iritated, looks at me and says ”if you are wearing that to watch tv you are gonna be cold.” I sat there in shock as he walked away.

#189

(Girl here) So it was at an earlier stage with my boyfriend, and we had not yet kissed. We were watching the movie Hitch. So when it gets to the point where they mentioned you go 90% and let the girl go 10%, my bf leans in 90%, and I just keep watching movie. Took me a while to get it

#190

I was going out of town later in the afternoon with family so I took the day off. I was on the phone with my BF talking to him asking what he was doing.
Him: nothing just going to eat some cold pizza.
Me: oh sounds like fun.
Him: you?
Me:nothing waiting to get picked up to head out. I’m all alone, everyone is at work for several more hours and I won’t be able to get picked up now for 4 more hours.
Him: Oh that sux. Well take a nap so you are not at tired when traveling.

#191

During my college freshman orientation, we had an activity to get to know other freshman and we were told to approach a couple of people with compliments. A guy I knew from my high school came up to me and said, ”You’re cute!”
Me: Thanks! *big smile, turns away*
*guy stops me*
Guy: You’re REALLY cute.
Me: Thanks! *big smile again*

Guy never approached me again in four years of college.

#192

I was texting my crush back when we were still flirting. It was a gorgeous summer day; sun was shining bright, birds were singing, bugs chirping – a perfect day for a little one on one-time. So I text my crush and say ”Man, today is a great day. I would love to be snuggled up to somebody on a blanket in the grass right now, just enjoying the sun, stealing some kisses; that would make it a perfect day.” His response? ”Nah, it’s too windy up here.” I knew right then we would never make it.

#193

I was chilling with one of my guy friends one time and we had been flirting on and off, he had made continues jokes about kissing me and I always just laughed it off thinking he was kidding, one night I took a selfie of us on Snapchat and he captioned it with the kiss emoticon (:*) and I was just like haha that’s cute and he just looked at me for a bit before going in for it. I didn’t get the hint so I wasn’t ready and the whole thing was fucked, it wasn’t until the next day I realized I fucked up

#194

At a party talking to a very attractive girl that I had known for a few weeks.
Girl: How do you tell if a girl likes you?
Me: She usually over-laughs at everything I say.
Girl (putting her face really close to mine): Do you mean like this? Hahahaha!
Me: Um…yeah (while thinking ‘why is this girl acting so strange? She is SO weird.’).
Finally figured it out 6 months later when she blew up at me after I stopped by to tell her the good news I had just found a girlfriend. Probably for the better.

#195

Guy I was dating, total gamer, I’m not. He’s spending the night at my house and using my computer to play games, I decide to pull out a cute little lingerie number I’d been saving and have some fun. I come into the room and drop my ribs, he looks over at me says ”wow” then goes back to playing. I put my robe back on and proceed to tell him to get out of my house because obviously he only wanted my computer. Never dated a gamer again.

#196

Worked at a food counter 5 years ago, massage therapists from a nearby clinic were regulars to the point we talked openly, including my bad knees. One gave me her number on a business card. Me: ”oh, I bet massages would help with my knees that sounds great!” Her: ”Yeah, sure” and walked away. Talking to my mom the next day: ”oh…should I call her?” Mom: ”uh, DUH!” Our THIRD date: ”so why did you give me your number? To hang out or for more than that? She married this idiot 3 years ago.

#197

Flirted with this guy at Best Buy every time I went in (and at the time it was a lot cause I was looking for stuff for college) I bought 3 Apple products from him even, and I am a Samsung girl. Called the store on the way home to ask about my new tablet, that wasn’t giving me problems at all, asked specifically for him, then proceeded to ask him if I could have his number in case I needed help again, he just gave me a number for a 24/7 Apple service place. 🙄

#198

These are two conversations between me and one of my guy friends my junior year of high school:
Convo 1:
Him: I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss a blonde.
Me: Why don’t you find a blonde girl, ask her out, and kiss her?

Convo 2:
Him: I’ve always wondered what it would be like to kiss a girl with braces.
Me: Why don’t you find a girl with braces, ask her out, and kiss her?

I was blonde, with braces, and pretty sure he liked me but I wasn’t going to kiss someone that wasn’t my boyfriend

#199

I was under-age at the hottest disco in town. No lie, a blande, tight body, German Stewardess, in uniform, walked up to me, and asked, very seductively, where the ”meat market” was. I promptly and politely gave her precise directions to the nearest Meat market. She said, ”Danka.” And walked off.
Damn.

#200

A girl I was close with started holding my hand saying they were cold while we were at the mall. As she holds my hand I realize her hand is much warmer than mine and jerk my hand away saying I don’t want to make them much colder. She also came over to hang out on my bed and would cuddle up to me while I smartly moved away and apologized for crowding her. She eventually pushed me down and kissed me.

#201

At the break table, my co-worker comes and sits. I thought he had a crush on another girl at work so I bring her up and ask how that’s going. He tells me it wasn’t and that it never would have worked cuz he likes short girls (I’m 5’1 and still have no idea he’s flirting). We’re both single parents, he turns the convo into talking about dating W/kids. I comment about I don’t want to date someone w/kids cuz my step dad sucked. He walked away. Took me a few days but we’ve been married 11 yrs now!

#202

Middle school Socially awkward nerd me: So I really like this girl, and it’s obvious, although I’ve told no one. A bunch of guys make fun of me for liking her, but she’s fairly ”popular”, so I was scared to approach. But here’s the thing: they make fun of her for liking me too, and I just realised that I actually have a chance here. I have been friendlily flirtatious for a while, and she has responded the same way. I don’t know anything, though. I am possibly planning on asking her out.

#203

In high school I had a crush on a this girl and I attempted to flirt with her about everyday. We frequently talked about music and one day she brought in a mix tape she made for me. I just think oh cool music. I go home and listen to it and don’t think anything about the song titles or lyrics. She asked me if I liked the songs and I tell her no not really my style. Two years go by and I’m driving and it just hits me that all of the songs were about sex and relationships.

#204

Went as a wing woman for a friend to three weddings in one day (very long day) after the last wedding we both needed to change and have a glass of wine… we walk into her local bar and she introduces me to her guy friend…we laugh and flirt for hours… finally his roommate tells him he’s heading out and I say ”I could join you ya know” and he says wouldn’t Brittany get mad you ditched her…. we will be married 4 years in Sept and Brittany was my maid of honor 💕

#205

Spent the noght making out and slept on a couch together…went to drop him at his car in the morning and asked THREE times if he was sure he had his phone (waiting for him to ask for my number)…afew days later he IMed me for it. We have 3 kids now…he is still a clueless idiot

#206

A really cute girl walked out before my brother when I was waiting outside his workplace, so I told him ”she’s cute you should get her number”. He tells me ”oh she’s cool, but it was really weird I told her I was going bike riding in the boardwalk with my sister & she kept telling me she’s never ridden a bike, I told she should learn it is a nice activity, she told me no one ever taught her and she’d really like to learn. I told her she should”. I smacked him upside the head. He then said ”oh!”

#207

Guy here…this is a few weeks old thing…A coworker and I on our way back home were chatting abt the personal hygiene. I unknowingly points at her beautiful hairless legs and says, ”how do you guys take such a good care of your skin.” She comes back saying,”Why dont you see on your own…I still have got a lot of skin to take care of”. And I was, ”No thanks, that will be terrible pain”..This hit me today..What an Idiot..can someone say that again.

#208

I was making out with this girl in my bed, she tells me ”I’m so hot” and takes off her panties. It did not dawn on me that this might mean that she wants sex…. We made out more and went to sleep cuddling. If she hadn’t woken me up straddling me the next morning, I would never have gotten the hint.

#209

Ok so I recently bought condoms while I was out shopping with my female friend. She had turned to me and asked:

”Wanna go to my place and burn rubber?”

I replied with:

”I don’t have a car.”

It wasn’t until later that night I realized what she meant.

#210

Went to a party that my ex threw, before we dated. Asked him if there was anyone in his bed, attempting to hook up with him. He nodded absentmindedly as he tried to help me get the pullout couch as I had previously requested. There were a bunch of drunk girls in his bed, he slept on the floor…

#211

When I was in university a nice girl invited me at her place and asked me to show her some stuff related to what we were studying. Next thing I remember was we were sitting by the kitchen table and I was reaching for my backpack when she put her hand on my thigh an asked me with a playful voice ”ok what are you going to show me now, what do you want us to do”.I totally ignored her and took a book out of my backpack and started explaining to her boring stuff wondering why she suddenly turned sad!

#212

This guy, i have liked him for years with lots of mutual flirting…
Invited him out to dinner with me.
He arrives just after me and sits opposite.
me: *pats seat* you don’t want to come and sit here next to me?
He: oh… this seats comfy as
*starts chatting about random stuff*
me: 0.o

Dropped a million hints that night, paid for dinner and got a hug and a selfie as we said goodbye 🙁

#213

Hubby is not very quick on ques. I had to make the 1st move, after a few months of talking to him. He was dating a woman before we met. She lived in SF, he lived in LA. He made the 10 plus hour drive up to surprise her. She said she didn’t want to sleep w/ him, she was still hurt after a bad breakup.After going to bed, she came out in a little skimpy negligee. She grabbed 2 glasses of wine and and sat on the couch. He told her she was rude for teasing him. Wasn’t until the week later he realized

#214

So, about a year or two ago, me and my current girlfriend were talking about homecoming, then she asks me ”are you going to homecoming?” not realizing that she was asking me to homecoming with her, I said ”no, and I’m not sure if I want to go”. Not too long after, she told me that she wanted to go. It still worked out, because we’ve been dating for over a year and a half, close to two years, but I still feel kinda dumb for not picking up on her hint that she wanted to go with me.

#215

Awhile back, I started flirting A LOT with this guy at work and he flirted back. All of our co workers knew and teased us about it constantly. After 2 months of flirting and waiting for him to make a move, I texted him and asked him out. We went on a date and then about a week later, he came over to ”watch Netflix”. I put pillows and blankets all over the floor and we laid there, our faces inches away from eachother, FOR 6 HOURS until he finally kissed me. 2 years later, we’re still together

#216

I had a huge crush on a guy I had met at my local youth group. I constantly flirted with him, and we talked constantly. I ended up getting his number and I asked if he wanted to hang out? He came over and we watched Harry Potter and I kind of awkwardly leaned my head on his shoulder, he literally shrugged me off… We are married now!

#217

So I was out at the club with some friends and we were having a bad a night so I was just ready to get to my car to leave. It was a guys night. So a hot chick that I work with walked by us on the sidewalk and stopped me, looking really happy to see me. She was with just enough hot friends too. She said ”what are you guys doing tonight?” And I said ”oh we’re on our way back to my car.” My friends jaws dropped in shock of what I had just done.

#218

I was with the girl of my dreams. Beautiful intelligent and we got along great. Everything I ever wished for. One night after the bar. Sitting in my car in front of her place. Things were getting heated, lot of kissing. She looks at me and says I feel bad if I leave now. I said ”So don’t” She took it as don’t feel bad. Got out of the car and went inside. I was yelling at myself the whole way home. Miss her to this day. She was the one.

#219

Was asked out to dinner by a friend on Valentines Day and said yes. Wasn’t until we were finishing dessert that I realized we were on a date.

#220

When i was at college I had to go away for a study block in a different city. A friend of a friend (15 years older than me) wanted to catch up, and convinced me to skip class and spend the day in the pool at my hotel. After an hour of drinking wine in the spa, she got out, telling me she needed a shower and dragged me back to my room. I got her a towel, and pointed to the shower, and went and got in the other shower.

She spent 45 minutes in the shower before giving up. She got out and went home.

#221

Woman here. As a teenager, I had a big crush on a boy from my church. He gave me a ride home one evening. When he stopped at my house, he leaned toward me and tilted his head to one side and I…put my hand out for a handshake. Poor kid probably thought I was rejecting him. Nope. Just socially inept.

#222

I was 15/16 And had never kissed a girl.
Anyway, I was on a cruise and there was this cute girl who took a fancy to me. One night I offered to walk her back to her room. In the lift we got talking and she asked me if I’d ever kissed a girl.

I said ”nope.”
And she said ”really?”
This happened a few times before she pulled me in toward her and kissed me.

5 years on and this is still one of my clearest memories.

#223

I never took a hint. And I can remember when it all began… I was 10. I was doing this homework in my bedroom with 2 friends from school, and one of them was Lucila, the girl I had a huge crush on since kinder garden and during all elementary school. I really liked her, and was known (except by me) that she liked me too. Our mothers would talk and joke about this, but I never really said anything to her. Of course, that afternoon it was heaven to me. We were having a good time and I’ve never been so close to her. When we finished homework that day we went downstairs. My friend went first, then Lucila and me following. Suddenly she stops, turns back to me, kisses me in the cheek and stays there looking. I was paralyzed. After what seemed an eternity I finally managed to kiss her back in the cheek in a very clumsy way and say: “thanks for THE FAVOR”. Nothing ever happened between us, and I spent the next 21 years of my life recriminating myself how I could be such a dumbass. I came across Lucila again last year in a parking lot. She told me about her career, her boyfriend and how they moved nearby recently. She was beautiful as always. I really wanted to bring back the memory of that day, just for the laugh, but I didn’t want to creep her out. Although I got over her in high school, my dumbasness is stil on work.

#224

I had been what I thought was flirting with this girl for weeks, I even bought an expensive watch just to have a reason to talk to her behind the jewelry counter. I asked for her number one day as she was leaving work one day. She said,” yeah.. yeah.. we can go do something one night” and then started walking away without giving me her number. She made it fifteen feet before I realized and yell after her. Her head physically went down and you could see her cursing.. We’re married now!

#225

High school graduation party in a cabin, drinking, I am sitting next to this girl I fancied but she was obvi not interested. Suddenly one of my female classmates (who had a bf, as far as I know, but my lads were chatting with her so they probably were working her over for me) shouts across the room that she would be willing to un-virgin me.
Me being stubborn idiot reply with ”No, thank you, but you are drunk and have a bf. I really appreciate it, but no.” Still unsure if I did the right thing.

#226

One night I had gotten home from work early, and decided to surprise my boyfriend when he got home. I proceeded to pick out my sexiest lingerie and put it on. He usually talks to people after work instead of leaving right away, so I sit on the bed and wait for him to get home. When he walked in, he sat down on the bed next to me, and proceeds to ask me to get dressed and go get taco bell because he was hungry….he’s never had the pleasure of seeing me in lingerie again.

#227

During a company party a female co-worker/friend grabbed a fudgsicle approached me then said ”I was thinking of you when I got this” as she was eating it……all I remember thinking at the time was ”Sweet fudgsicles!!!”………..

#228

I was making out with this girl in my bed, she tells me ”I’m so hot” and takes off her panties. It did not dawn on me that this might mean that she wants sex…. We made out more and went to sleep cuddling. If she hadn’t woken me up straddling me the next morning, I would never have gotten the hint.

#229

I was making out with this girl in my bed, she tells me ”I’m so hot” and takes off her panties. It did not dawn on me that this might mean that she wants sex…. We made out more and went to sleep cuddling. If she hadn’t woken me up straddling me the next morning, I would never have gotten the hint.

#230

I had an abusive exbf. I met a good guy soon after finally leaving my ex. Batman (goodguy) was the only one I’d ask to hang out everyday, let hug/touch me, or beat high scores on my phone apps -.- . A month of hanging out and talking everyday.
Batman: ‘everyone is asking if we’re dating’
Me: ‘IK’
Batman:’Y?’
Me:’IDK ask them’
Batman:’they think we like each other’
Me:’well yea’
Batman:’Do you?’
Me:’yea’
Batman:’oh lol’
*2hrs later*
Me:’do you like me?’
Batman:’Yea’
*no move made for 2wks

#231

was making fun of stuff with a girl while we were hanging around at my place. then she said something totally hilarious so i went:

me: ‘fuck you!’
her: ‘okay’

I then proceeded to change the topic because I did not know how to respond.

#232

Was away for a college outing, camping out… the only girl on my course, said she’d forgotten her tent and mine looked big enough for 2… I said that’s fine I don’t mind sharing… got all the regular phwoars and you old dog etc from the other guys… that night after a few beers, I crawled into my tent, and went to go to sleep… the girl then said, it’s quite cold and lonely over here… I could do with a hug… to which, I responded hug this.. and rolled my football over! 🙈 Tool.

#233

She was my first love with 15, visiting a friend for 3 months, sadly didn’t worked out then… found her 10 years later on Facebook, start chatting and after a while visit her in her Country… at the last day we cooked together and hang around arm in arms. Before i leave hug each other, look in to the eyes… and i say goodbye… some weeks later she wrote my ”why didn’t you kissed me”? after half year we met again but the Moment didn’t return. other 10 years later still the woman of my dreams.

#234

One time I was hanging out with a girl I was really into, and at the time she was interested in me as well. Around 11 that night she asks me if I want to stay with her that night and I simply reply ”No thanks, I’m just going to go home and read a book.” As soon as I got home it hit me like a brick wall, and my brother still won’t let me live it down to this day.

#235

When I was 23, I woke up in the middle of the night to two girls (one of whom I was dating) standing next to my bed. They had been drinking, so naturally I offered her friend my couch… In the morning I realized my mistake, and asked for a redo.. no.

#236

Last weeks of Senior year in High School, as we handed out the yearbooks for the ritual signing from friends. My book made its rounds in class, and I realized that a girl I secretly liked but never had the nerve to ask out signed it.

By the time I got the book back, I had all but forgot who all signed it. It was several years later when I was looking through the book and found her note… it had her number.

Yeah… I tried the number. She had already moved.

#237

In high school I was texting my super hot friend (girl) and she said ”man I love dicks” not sure how but it went right over my head. I’m an idiot.

#238

At a party talking to a very attractive girl that I had known for a few weeks.
Girl: How do you tell if a girl likes you?
Me: She usually usually over laughs at everything I say.
Girl (putting her face really close to mine): you mean like this? Hahahaha!
Me: Um…yeah (while thinking ‘why is this girl acting so strange? She is SO weird.’).
Finally figured it out 6 months later when she blew up when I told her I found a girlfriend.

#239

At a party talking to a very attractive girl that I had known for a few weeks.
Girl: How do you tell if a girl likes you?
Me: She usually usually over laughs at everything I say.
Girl (putting her face really close to mine): you mean like this? Hahahaha!
Me: Um…yeah (while thinking ‘why is this girl acting so strange? She is SO weird.’).
Finally figured it out 6 months later when she blew up when I told her I found a girlfriend.

#240

‘I have a queen sized bed if you need somewhere to sleep’
‘Then where would you sleep’
Regret kicked in the next morning when I realised

#241

I am usually quite quick on the uptake, and don’t miss a chance. Anyway there’s this girl who is a lot younger than me, we have always flirted a bit, and one evening there are a few of us drinking near where I live, as it’s getting late, some of the others get up and move away from the tsble, she then says: ”I really don’t want to drive all the way home tonight, I wish there was somewhere around here I could stay” i replied ”just drive steadily”. Hit me like a ton of bricks the next day!!😫

#242

Picked up a VERY hot redhead at a club in Portland, she drives me to her apartment in Tacoma where we commence with some very heavy petting, her in nothing but her underwear. When it comes time to do the deed, I confess I’m a virgin. I left her apartment still a virgin…..

#243

Met her when I was 15 and instantly developed a crush. Four years later we connected on Facebook and started talking that night. She ended up driving 2 and 1/2 hours to my apartment and we spent hours drinking and playing StarCraft. Fell asleep topless in my bed and took a very long shower the next day, then left because I was still asleep. I was going to do it right and ask her on a real date before I tried anything, but turns out she just wanted to hookup. Never heard from her again.

#244

My cousin and my husband went to high school together a school I was going to go to but went to the high school in my town and she asked him to take me to prom so I could go to her prom with her… he said no cuz he wanted to go alone! He’ll never live it down.. I remind him all the time but.. who knows we were different people and I could have hated him when he was in high school which is the ”reason” why he didn’t want to take me

#245

heading to a coffee shop one of the girls asked if i would wait for her then suggested we take a short cut through the woods, while walking she stop and casually said ”do you think that a girl could be in the woods with a guy and like give him a blowjob, and that he would be able to keep it a secret” me= ”yeh” and i just kept on walking! took me a few weeks to realise. doh!!

#246

In high school i used to have this amazing and cute girl sitting next to me,she was off my league but i had the courage to caress her thighs during class sometimes and she allowed it even blushing heavily. One day,we had lunch with her grandma and she invited me to her room,we stayed alone almost two hours doors closed just talking.Me being a nice guy i thought it was a gentle thing but a kiss would have came out if i was bold enough.Still friends after many years but i’m stuck in ”what if..”

#247

End of grade 10 and we finish exams, a group of us (guys and girls) decide to hang out celebrate another year of high school over. We end up at a park near school and at some point start talking about our crushes. I look at him and say ”I like you.” He looks at me and says ”I like you too.” Then he goes on to talk about his crush (who it doesn’t work out with anyways).
4 years later, I’m wondering if he ever got the hint.

#248

Hanging out with this girl at my house and was watching some movies. She fell asleep on my couch. So I took her upstairs to the spare bedroom. When she got all comfy, she looked at me and said ”oh wow this beds big enough for us both to sleep in.” She had a big smile on her face. I just laugh and said ”yeah ha, well good night.” Shut off the lights and went to the other bed. As soon as I lay down in my bed it hit me!

#249

I was on a cruise with some friends and got asked out by a girl for some coffee. We went down to the shop to get some and when we finished she asked ”what do you want to do now?” My response ”I’m just gonna go to bed it’s getting late.” Went back to the room and never saw her for the rest of the trip. My friends have never stopped joking about that trip to this day. I still get mad at myself for that.

#250

My current boyfriend and me met at tekko (an anime convention), I was supposed to stay in a room with 4 other people but I was the last one to turn in for the first night of the convention and I wanted to spend the night in his hotel room. I then asked if I could stay the night with him and his other friend and sleep on the fold out couch. He said okay and then it hit me, I was going to have no pjs so just sleep naked. I mentioned it to him and his response was ”here wear mine.”

#251

My current boyfriend and me met at tekko (an anime convention), I was supposed to stay in a room with 4 other people but I was the last one to turn in for the first night of the convention and I wanted to spend the night in his hotel room. I then asked if I could stay the night with him and his other friend and sleep on the fold out couch. He said okay and then it hit me, I was going to have no pjs so just sleep naked. I mentioned it to him and his response was ”here wear mine.”

#252

When I was in high school I really liked this boy so lways tried to get his attention. Well one day in class I had a guy come up to me and ask if I wanted to go out with him, I told him I had to think about it. I Walk over to the boy I like and told him and all he said was ”sure he looks nice go for it”. Why are guys like this lol.

#253

A cute girl we usually hung out with followed me in my room and asked if she can rest with me after I told my friends I’m turning in. Another friend followed and started to chat with her in my room. She asked if I could ask my friend to go out so she can rest w/ me coz she was also tired. Told her not be rude to my friend. She told me the next day what she wanted to do with me the night before when I dropped her off at her place. Never saw her again.

#254

Took a gorgeous coworker to my brother’s birthday party at a club. Danced all night and even had the bartenders giving us free drinks. Most of the guys at the club were eyeing this girl. Took her home and asked me to stay over night. I declined. She insisted. I declined. She persisted. I went home.
The next day, my other coworkers said I was gay. She told everyone at work what happened that night.

#255

So this happened when we ”officially” got together. We’re on the train, and I’m trying to get him to hold my hand. I told him I had small hands, and asked him to measure our palms. He measured and agreed that my hands were tiny, then placed his hands down again.

#256

I had a co-worker who I was crushing on hard. I was in a car accident that really messed up my car so I had no ride to or from work. The first day back from my accident she waited after her shift until the end of my shift to ask if I needed a ride home. I told her ”No thanks my dad is probably out in the parking lot waiting for me. Thanks anyways.” And walked out the door. Her face looked really confused and I only realized a couple weeks after she quit…

#257

Friends and I visited 3 sisters. I asked if I could rest coz it was a long drive. one of the sisters told me I could rest in her room. I woke up with her dancing on top of the bed that I was laying on in her bra. I stormed out of the room and told my friends we were leaving. On the way back, my friends told me she specifically told them not to bother us. I was wondering why that damn door was locked when I stormed out.

#258

There was that amazingly funny and gorgeous girl that was always saying to me that she wanted to break up with her boyfriend of the moment. I once asked her why she didn’t do it yet, she replied that she was waiting for someone else (that had the same physical description as me) to kiss her. Said ”oh well i wish you good luck with him, i’m he’s a great guy”. I had no idea that she was talking about me, figured out months later when we stopped talking since a while.

#259

I was the archetypal geek in high school, anyway in French class, doing the oral exam (no pun intended) the students are taken to another class and then leave. So I’m left in the class with this pretty hot girl who a bad girl always in trouble and we’re just talking. Out of the blue she asks me if I think she’s pretty and I tell her that she is absolutely beautiful and leave it at that carry on talking do my exam and leave. Took 16 years and reading 100 of these posts for the penny to drop.

#260

So, we had been friends since 4th grade, every time us dating came up she would freak out and basically hide. Well fast forward to high school. I moved away and she immediately got a bf that lasted a week. Later she told me she was filling the void because we never got a chance to date.
She dropped hints by cuddling against me, inviting me over to play games, bring me on her family trips etc…

#261

So, we had been friends since 4th grade, every time us dating came up she would freak out and basically hide. Well fast forward to high school. I moved away and she immediately got a bf that lasted a week. Later she told me she was filling the void because we never got a chance to date.
She dropped hints by cuddling against me, inviting me over to play games, bring me on her family trips etc…

#262

Guy here…this is a few weeks old thing…A coworker and I on our way back home were chatting abt the personal hygiene. I unknowingly points at her beautiful hairless legs and says, ”how do you guys take such a good care of your skin.” She comes back saying,”Why dont you see on your own…I still have got a lot of skin to take care off”. And I was, ”No thanks, that will be terrible pain”..This hit me today..What an Idiot..can someone say that again.

#263

So I was in high school and there was a newish girl in my English class. Of course everyone has gum and I always forgot mine so I asked her if I could have a piece. Her response was ”the only piece I have is in my mouth, if you want it you gotta take it with a kiss”. Of course me being an idiot at the time said ”nah I’m good, I’ll find a fresh piece”.

#264

A girl asked if i could repear something in her PC. We went over to her house and into her room. She grabbed her PC from her work desk, sat on her bed and just looked at me standing in the threshold. I said: ”lets go to the kitchen, it will be more comfortable”.
Turned out the PC was just fine and i went home.

#265

A girl asked if i could repear something in her PC. We went over to her house and into her room. She grabbed her PC from her work desk, sat on her bad and just looked at me standing in the threshold. I said: ”lets go to the kitchen, it will be more comfortable”.
Turned out the PC was just fine and i went home.

#266

A girl asked if i could repear something in her PC. We went over to her house and into her room. She grabbed her PC from her work desk, sat on her bad and just looked at me standing in the threshold. I said: ”lets go to the kitchen, it will be more comfortable”.
Turned out the PC was just fine and i went home.

#267

I’ve been going out with this girl I met on Tinder and we really hit it off. One time she asked for my phone and logged in her tinder account to deactivate it in front of me. I was like ”whoa, what gives?” ”I think I don’t need it anymore”, she said. ”oh really? Who’s the lucky guy? Tell me!”, excited for her. She rolled her eyes and just changed the topic of our conversation.

On this day, she waited for 2 hours for me, even paid for our dinner. Who knew I was the one she was referring too, huh?

#268

My boyfriend, now husband, comes home from work. I’m dressed in heels and lingerie. He looks at me and says, Wow!! You look nice! Walks past me to set his keys down. No response, not even a kiss. Clueless!!! Needless to say, I wasn’t going to let him miss out.

#269

I was 14 at a 4th of July event in town. There was this radio station doing karaoke. I had just started singing recently. So I get up and sing Rockstar and when I get back this somewhat older girl sits beside me. After hellos and what not she asked me ”So do you really wanna be a rockstar?” I said something along the lines of, ”Yeah! It’d be cool! Nice meeting you gotta go bye!”
My mom tells me later she had been inching closer the whole time and was obviously into me. I was oblivious.

#270

Female here, this is a hint I missed. So I was working at a clothing store and a month or so later a new guy (super cute, blonde hair, blue eyes) started working there. We hit it off pretty well. We flirted constantly with each other. One night the day before Thanksgiving, he asks if I wanted to go see a movie with him. I replied with ”Sorry I need to go to my grandma’s to pick up the stuffing for tomorrow” and we leave the mall and go our separate ways.

#271

I was on vacation in San Diego and by divine intervention found myself holding a beautiful blonde I had met at the bar. We were on the beach making out and flirting when she asked if I wanted a ride back to her hotel because it was her last night in San Diego (texas girl). I politely told her I’d be fine and get an uber. She me promise I’d text her in the morning. I got an uber back to my place and we kept in touch for a bit but now every time I think of it i hate myself for being so stupid.

#272

I was at party with a bunch of the guys from high school, and this cute girl because EVERYONE was trying to ”hit that” (it was the 90’s, shut up). The guys all seemed to gang up on me for their ribbing and the girl sat in my lap and told them to knock it off. Then she said, ”if they’re bothering you then you can just sleep in my bed tonight.”

I said, ”no it’s cool, I can handle them.” She walked away looking confused.

10 years later…it hit me.

#273

16 year-old me playing guitar (hears doorbell ring) open the door and girl from my history class is standing there.
Me: Hey what’s up
Her: just wanted to stop by and see what you’re up to
Me: nothing, just playing guitar
Her: are your parents home, can I come in
Me: yeah, they won’t be home for a few hours….. cut to me playing guitar with her sitting so close to me that my arm keeps hitting her and messing me up
Me: uhhhh, could you move over a bit.
Her: gets up and leaves.

#274

Once a friend and I we were watching TV together and he brought up the subject of us dating. I blanked and just laughed. Another time it was really late and we had been talking in my room all night when he started falling asleep on my bed. I told him he could stay there and sleep with me. Nothing happened. I did the same thing again later and started spooning him. He still did nothing. After a month of us dating he told me he loved me and again I just laughed. It’s a wonder we’re together.

#275

I was in Pensacola for school and I wnt to the beach with some friends. We met two girls and one of them who was pretty hot was all over me commenting on my tattoos and stuff. On the car ride back, she takes a beach towel and puts it over our laps and puts her hand on my thigh. I proceed to keep saying it tickles and I never saw her again after that. Mistakes were made…

#276

I was sitting at a table in my university with my cousin and her friends. One of her friends I had a crush on. Suddenly I’m looking at some girls and commenting on how hot they are.
Me: Wow. That one is hot.
Her (crush): I’m sitting right here.
Me (5 mins later): Hey there’s another one. Maybe I should ask her out.
Her: Again. I’m sitting right here.
Went for pizza the next day. Cousin gives me a punch and tells me I’m a dumbass for not getting the hint. Never forgave myself for that.

#277

I’m laying in the bed naked next to him while he’s playing on his phone. When he finally notices I have no shirt on (after at least 30 minutes), he looks under the cover and says ”when did you take your clothes off?” Then goes back to playing his game. As usual, I always end up falling asleep and explaining what I was trying to do after waking back up. His response every time ”oh, I didn’t know”. You’d think when being together over 15 years with 3 kids, he’d pick up on it.

#278

I was about 13 and would be babysitting on Valentine’s evening. There was a guy I’d known ages and fancied like mad. I asked him if he wanted to come and babysit with me. He said I should ask my boyfriend. Duh! Never got to go out with him.

#279

Once I called my friend and asked him if he was going to the club that weekend, he answers with: why? You don’y have a ride?
Few weeks after, he alreary knows ”I need a ride to the club” and I tell him I had a date but cut him off to go with him, later that night he says: your date is there if you wanna go dance with him.
20 years later, including 18 years married to him he is still cluless of any hint. Took him 2 years to understand!

#280

Was talking to my now boyfriend a few month ago. The topic of prom came up and and I asked him if he had a date. He said no and I wasn’t like, ”If we both don’t have anyone by the time prom comes around, we should go together.” He said, ” why? you can go with your (twin) sister.” I had to ask my sister to tell him to ask me out.

#281

When I was about 13/14 I ended up kissing the boy next door and a few days had passed of us kissing and texting and I had had enough so I text him and said ”do you want to go out with me?” He replied ”I can’t, I’m not allowed” so I was all like ”what?!?!” Getting all shocked and taken aback he then responded ”yeah, my mom won’t let me out after 10pm on a school night” … i wanted to facepalm him through the wall 🙂

#282

She always say she is moist

#283

One Friday there was a massive birthday party and I was hiding in the corner like the social worm I am, and the girl I was massively crushing on comes up to me, after me telling her I liked her and her rejecting me days before.
”Hey, so about our last conversation. Who is it that you actually like?” she says, massive smile.
To which I reply… ”Uh… I told you Wednesday”…
”Oh, ok.” – she walks off.
Nice one me… nice one.

#284

There was this girl who worked behing the bar at my local that I got along with and for some time too. Stepping out for a smoke break, she goes on to say that her brother is gay and in a relationship. Her: Why is it so easy for him and all i want is a boyfreind. Me: Hope its not contiguous.
She was dating one of the guys working there a week later.

#285

We went to eat and then a movie. After the movie was over we sat in the parking lot for hours. I then drove us back to her house so I could go home. Sat in her driveway till 1 am talking and making out. She told me: ”You’re making this so hard.” Me: ”Making what hard?” Her: ”To be good.” Didn’t click 30 mins later she tells me a guy has never gotten her off didn’t click that she was hinting I literally said challenge accepted. It clicked the next day. Cramps ended the challenge at 1.5 hrs as a L

#286

We went to eat and then a movie. After the movie was over we sat in the parking lot for hours.
I then drove us back to her house so I could go home. Sat in her driveway till 1 am talking and making out. She told me: ”You’re making this so hard.” Me: ”Making what hard?” Her: ”To be good.” Didn’t click 30 mins later she tells me a guy has never gotten her off didn’t click that she was hinting I literally said challenge accepted. It clicked the next day.

#287

Senior year, same lesson everytime, he would be very very flirtatious, always making excuses to talk to me and I used to do the same back, everyone else had noticed… it wasnt until 2 years after we left school that it actually clicked that we were into me

#288

Ya know, come to think of it, about 13 years ago in college a friend left out porn vids in plain sight when I was visiting her apartment in her bedroom, maybe she was flirting or wanting to watch them? …..who knows?

#289

I have missed alot of signals.
There was one whilst shopping, I got chatting to the young lad at the checkout, we were just talking about college and the days we were in, because he had noticed my badge and brought up that we went to the same college.
Anyway after about 10 minutes he said it would be nice to see me around college at LUNCH, me being me I said I dont know I dont go to the canteen, after ending with an oh on his behalf, it wasnt until I got home I realized he was asking me out

#290

I think I were about 14, sitting next to my friend after comjng outbof the takeaway. He turned tome and said ”you look like you would be a good kisser fancy a go”. Me being the idiot I am, I said ”why, we’re eating”. It wasnt until 2 months later when he asked me out that I realised he liked me, we were then together for around a year, now 5 years later and we are no longer friends yet he still tells everyone about that story

#291

It was about 4 years ago so I was a silly teenager. I had the biggest crush on the guy across the road from me. I hinted and hinted by flirting and making excuses to talk to him. After him going out with my friend I then realised that he definitely wasnt into me so gave up, after a month he then admitted to his brother, my then best friend, that he liked me but didnt think I was into him as I hadnt given him any hints, we were then together for a year before he moved away

#292

I always hung around with boys when I were younger, as I wasnt into the barbie and pink like most girls. I remeber one night we were on the street playing football and then one of my friends suggested going back to his to talk. I wasnt the brightest of girls as I replied with ”whats wrong with here, ew is it embarrassing are you gonna tell me your crush finally”!? He ended up telling me it dm and he never brought it up after that, 7 years later and it only clicked after seeing him again briefly

#293

When I was 23, I woke up in the middle of the night to two girls (one of whom I was dating) standing next to my bed. They had been drinking, so naturally I offered her friend my couch… In the morning I realized my mistake, and asked for a redo.. no.

#294

My boyfriend and I had just started dating and he’d never kissed anyone before so he always joked that id have be the one to do it. Well we’re at his house one day by ourselves so I suggested practicing dancing for Prom since it was coming up, he started giggling and said he was too ticklish. I gave up on that and resorted to cuddling up with him on the couch really close to his face, he just kept talking. Eventually he got up to get something and I just kissed him. His face was priceless.

#295

So this is backwards but …

My now-husband and I used to work at a newspaper together many moons ago. He (city reporter), me (designer) and the MANAGING EDITOR were standing in the newsroom talking one day about some story. All of a sudden, he looks at my chest and goes, ”It must be cold in here!” I followed his gaze. Yes, it was cold. I thought the ME would have a stroke. It took me about 15 more years to figure out he had the hots for me. July will be our five-year anniversary.

#296

I met my boyfriend at the liquor store we both worked at. One night, he was complaining about a friend of his that would hang out in his room while he was at work. His friend would sometimes pass out in his bed so he would have to sleep on the couch. I suggested he tell his friend he was bringing a girl home after work so he would be sure to clear out. He definitely did not realize that I was supposed to be that girl. I had to invite him over to my place eventually. We’ve been together 1.5 years

#297

So one day I end up singing a special song I co-wrote with a friend in church. And afterwards this girl I barely know strikes up conversation. She says she likes the song (which most people were saying that day) and what not and she gives off signals that she’s flirting but I don’t return them because I still think she’s my friend’s girlfriend (because that’s the unwritten law). Later after a facebook search I discover I was wrong.. Now things are forever awkward cos she thinks i’m not into her.

#298

The DTR conversation, sometimes it takes him a while…
ME: Yesterday, someone asked me if I had a boyfriend…
HIM: Who asked that?
ME: Does it matter?
HIM: So?
Well not that much
ME: What should I have said?
HIM: Well there is no answer
Anything you like
So said yes?
ME: Was I wrong to say that?
HIM: Nope
And Thank you;)
Babe

#299

I was at my crushes condo. It wasnt late but didn’t want to go home. I wanted to see if I could spend the night for the first time to see what level of friendship this was 😉 I bust out my best acting skills, yawning ”i’m so tired” and he says ”yeah, you should head home.” I lay my head down ”I don’t think i can drive.” i pretend to fall asleep. he pokes me ”hello? you should wake up so you can go home.” *face palm* but here he is sleeping next to me, so it worked!

#300

cute guy invited me to a bbq with his friends. he texted that i could stay at his place after (with some winky smileys). he took good care of me all evening (get me drinks, food and stuff) later at his place he asked if i wanted to sleep on the couch or in his bed. of course i chose his bed. i got undressed (yes, naked) layed down next to him and…. he turned over and fell asleep. later he told me he didnt dare to make a move. too late, i already moved on. not sure who missed the hint here.

#301

I came home from from work one day on my lunch hour to find my wife home early.
She asked me if I wanted something to eat and I said no I am not really hungry.
So then she asked if I wanted ”quickie” and I thought she said cookie and replied
”No I told you I was not hungry”….
after she cleared it up what she has said she got what she wanted

 

Sven-Eriks trädgårdstips

Stackars Sven fick aldrig veta vad som hände med hans kyckling

Donuts instead of meth

Pig tank

Oönskade nakenbilder

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